Bad dream, too often.
I've had bad dreams for like weeks this month. And again this time it got me awaken right after just a few hours of sleeping.

Then I had a thought of someone, someone related to the character in the dream.

I dreamed of a classmate back in junior high. He was a very popular guy with half chinese and western face and he was kind of liking me in that dream.. which in my entire real life, there's no one popular like me at all.

I woke up again at the time I normally awake.  Feeling of missing someone still hasn't gone away. So I checked out his social media profiles.  They told me nothing  relating to his life but there're some articles he posted on one of his profiles. It seems like he's doing ok. He keeps sharing news and stories in his interest almost everyday.

I just don't know how to keep in touch with him anymore. Peeking to read articles on his profile is the only thing I have done for the past months after he just stopped responding to my texts.

I was crying a lot just to think of him back then. It's pity, though.
It's like I was falling so hard for this person. 

Yes, I still miss him. 

But I haven't contacted him and I try to keep it that way.  Somehow I wish we would have our paths cross again. 

I guess, he won't want it that way because he has made sure he completely leaves no trace in my life, like we hadn't had some moment together at all.

I finally get to stop myself from crying because of thinking of him.
Still I often have some thoughts about him, wondering how he is, what he is doing, with or without anyone important in his heart now and then. 

And I feel pathetic to myself everytime I have those thoughts.

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Written in this book
2021 Life
life in the following pandemic year with anxiety and there's more to experience
I read, I write and I take photos. Bet you can't find my photos somewhere else.