Doing it so you're not regretting it.
More breif story for today but I guess I might disappoint you all.  It's not going to be about love or romantic things like the story before. But I promise it will be an easy one.

Seriously I didn't expect that my earlier story has been seen more and gets recommended over 5 people. Since English is not a mainstream in this community and I clearly understand that.


Recently I try a few things and this one is called, "doing it before you regret it."

Like the other weeks ago, there's a photo memory popping out of my phone. It was about some desserts of a night out with a guy that I used to very fond of. I really admired him back at that time (I also confessed to him that I was really liked him back then.) It was the best night out with him. I even wrote about him in 2019.  Anyway now I am totally over it. But I did reach out to him just a text with the photo that he was reminded of. I didn't expect anything back from him, which was really the point of everything. I just wanted to tell him that I thought of him. Nothing more.

Also today, I got to have a little chat with someone I used to get close to or I think at least I was acquainted enough to talk with almost everyday. After the time has passes, set it all still, I come to realize to let go, let it go and let it be. It's a history to put behind.



Life is full of surprise. I either get surprised of myself!
The world has so many aspect and views. Everyone has their own reasons. We all have our rights to make great decent actions. 



Plus I told another person that I miss him. I told him that I am practising on not regretting things. And I was watching a series that had a character reminding me of him. 

Yes, that's it.  I choose to tell this one I miss him, only because I care him most. I don't want to regret myself for not telling anyone that I miss them but I keep it to myself like I used to. It's a good vibe like spreading love, not hate.

(Have you ever felt like you want to tell your feeling to someone but you just couldn't make it because you got so scared of reaction from those people? - would they get weird or they may not talk with you anymore. Yes, I did feel like that. But I've overcome it now.)

Just a tip for your healthy spreading love. Only, I do share this feeling with someone who seems to care about me. I have learned that I can pour my heart to anyone I want to and they may even not giving a f*ck about me. And hey, that is really OK. 'Cos I don't give a sh*t about that, too!  Now I only care people that I love and I wish them to be happy from my good-thoughts.  



However there's a few times I feel stuck somewhere and all I want is just disappear from this world. 

I know, it's like I feel I want to die or be wiped away for sometimes.
One of my best friends has said to me that it's more than just die or else I couldn't remember.  She's always there for me apart from another one that I used to call and cry with. But that's another story.

I used to think about how to die, when to die, who I am and what I am doing in this world.



Ok. This seems to be out of the topic. 
All I want to say here is 
sometimes staying silence doesn't always a good option.

We may need some help or you may just want to tell how grateful you are to someone.  It is your choice to make it happen or speak up. Do it or you will regret it. Also reach out for trusted people if you need help.





PS. I am now watching a series "13 reasons why."  It's kind of teenager drama and way too young for my age but there's a lots to learn about anxiety, loneliness, suicide, violence and friendship. That's why I say, do it or regret it.  And reach out, speak out or call for help when you need it. No matter how small it makes you feel. Small anxiety can lead to big problem later. 





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Written in this book
2020 non-fiction
true/personal
Writer
upupandaway
nostalgic
reader, casually writer & amateur photographer

Comments

Traveler_101
5 months ago
Nice topic. It's look like a problem for person like an introvert, like me.. haha. Very hard to speak it out sometime and also someone, that I very care.
Reply
upupandaway
5 months ago
I know, right. I used to believe of not telling how I really feel about anything or anyone. But once you learn to do it in a proper way, it's not a bad thing at all. There were wrong times I chose, those are my lessons. We're learning as we are growing up.
Phsss.. I'm an introvert, too!