00:15 am
00:15 am

The late night thoughts come again.
Actually, it is not.
It should be ‘the always thoughts’

Sometimes, I really want to be selfish.
So, I don’t have to be suffered like this.
I can just go without any worries.

Because I care too much.
That’s why I lost myself.
I don’t want anyone to feel like me.
I just want them to be happy.

When you live without happy, it sucks.
So, be happy.
But I didn’t tell myself, I told others.

I live, but not for myself.
I live for others.
For the others I care too much.
I can even give my life to them.

When I think about ‘give my life to someone’
I wish it could.
I want to give to someone who really wants it.

In 2012, I believed the world was going to end.
I cried so hard.
I didn’t want to die.
How ironic...
Now, I cry because I don’t want to live.
And wish the world could end back then.

Maybe, this world is not for me.
It seems strange.
Or I just not fit in this world.

I always think when I’m dead, everything just turns into black.
The pain is stop.
Everything is stop.
And I will finally be free.

I really want to hurt myself.
But I just can’t.
I’m scared.
But not scared of being hurt.
I’m scared that people might see.

The worst feeling is when you cry yourself to sleep.
And that cry has to be silent.

I hug myself so tightly and tell myself...
‘Everything is going to be ok’
But that just a lie to myself.

Now, I lost in this world.
I just wish someone could find me.
And bring my old self back.
The old happy one...
.
.
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Written in this book
00-3AM Thoughts
Writer
PCPPOLY
ordinary girl
Ask.fm : @PCPPOLY

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