Assertiveness (Eng)
Growing up, I’ve always been a yielding and unquestioning type. I have always been very reluctant to ask for help or complain about things because I was taught to avoid being a burden and causing troubles. In many instances, this is a good trait to have. Yet many many times I ended up feeling I should have raised the case or at least said something about it.
This year I’ve been working on the art of saying ‘no’, and whenever I feel this strong sense of “this is not how it should be”, I finally start to ask for explanation (though after thinking VERY long and hard about it). So this is a note to myself that it is indeed okay to ask. And it is okay to care less about what people may think so long as you don’t overstep the bounds of appropriateness. I guess I’ve misunderstood “complaint” and “kind queries” all along. Asking questions doesn’t necessarily lead to an argument or make me the “demanding” person I am trying so hard not to be. I’m learning to embrace “assertiveness” without losing the sense of compassion, and through that I have started to notice that I feel much more confident and specific about my choices. I have learnt to refuse something that doesn’t align with who I truly am and what I truly want.
At the end of the day, I think it’s about knowing what you want and going for it though it might set you apart from the mainstream. It’s a way of fighting (figuratively speaking) for even the little things. Win or lose, that doesn’t matter.
Language enthusiast
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