It turns back or it never goes away, Depression (บันทึกคนซึมเศร้า)
It started since yesterday, and I don't really know how it turns to be this way right now. I guess it started from something happened yesterday, which was quite emotional, relationship thing, it affected my past life a lot, and created what I am now. I was afraid, too afraid to be involved in it again, like I know it's going to hurt me hard and take me back to the position I was before, it was so painful and difficult to deal with. Once I thought about it, it started hitting me hard both emotionally and mentally, I broke down crying and disappointing all night. The more I look at my mom and dad, the more I feel guilty for them, I just want to be stronger enough for them, but I'm too weak that I can't even hold it. I don't tell them that my depression occurs again, and that really sucks, I don't want them to feel bad and worried because of me. 

For now, I'm emotionless and lost, I hardly feel anything around me, I'm pretending that I'm fine with people around, but inside of me it's blank and nothing. Maybe I'm too tired to feel. Also, my body doesn't want to move, my head is numb and I have a mild headache. These are how I'm facing with now. No joke.

However I have to go on, do things I can do, I'm trying. I'm working on it. I'm telling myself "There's a way."
Written in this book
My life is like clouds.