"today i feel sympathy towards Kikyo"

Usually I hate her. 

Kikya, well, Kikyo is the person to Kagome as much as she is the person who everybody must have in their life at one point. That person who is too beautiful, no matter a male or a female. That one person who you feel is too close to the person you like, too much closeness between them makes you want to go on a childish rampage. They are too talented, too perfect, and besides them, you feel like something disgusting--if not for the ugliness you try to hide that she reminds you of, then a shameful jealousy inside your blackened heart. 

But she also reminds you that you love that person.
You love them so much that you will never, ever, give up. 

But then again, Kikyo, she is that person to Inuyasha as well, you know? As much as she is that woman for Kagome, she was the one for Inuyasha. That one person who, with a single glance, can throw you back, with tremendous force, back to the time when things were wonderful. That person who, with just rumors, made your heart clenches and twinges so hard you want to both cry and throw up. The one who never really go away despite how much you want them to. 

But you know. 

You know better than anyone that you two don't suit each other. 

Not anymore. 

It is incredibly painful to finally accept that as a fact. 
And you took a long time to do it. 

You did. 


And Kikyo is you. 

She is you when you look at those who used to be yours. She is you when you slowly woke up from the daze you felt during all those time without them, only to realize that they are not for you to love and to care anymore. 

She is you when you are struggling so hard, so hard to just forget all other ugly, hurtful things--all other responsibilities--and just have that person on your mind. 

Only to realize that you can't. 

And you won't be able to keep them happy. 

So you let them go. 


But you love them. You love them so much everything hurts. You feel like you are a living corpse. 

In the end, you let those feelings die away little by little. 

With a kiss, you both move on. 


I used to hate her. But believe it or not, I have much more things in common with her than with our favorite heroine, Kagome Higurashi. (I love the girl, though. She is EVERYTHING I am not.)