what to do when I'm in this much pain ?

The thing is, I just realize that the only stories I enjoy writing are the ones that don't have happy endings. It either ended bittersweet, or just plain disastrous. I realize, with much dread, that I can't write happy stories anymore.

This realization just hurts.
I used to like writing my characters happy, and free.
But now I feel content writing them angry, hurt, or trapped.
Writing those anger and betrayals, and hurt and tears, is just easier. Really. 
To see them happy fully, I don't know how to do that.

Maybe it's okay to have bittersweet endings.
Because life is not so beautiful all the time. There was beauty, sure.
But not everyday.
Someday, all you want to do is just...crawling into your bed and sleep, forever.
But that's okay, too.

People hurt. Angered.
People are betrayed, and people shed tears.
That's okay.
Because people smile, people laugh, people are happy, too.

Right now, I can only focus on pain, hurt, and tears.
I only hope that, in the future, I can write happy endings, with smiles and rainbows and a lot of laughter again.