Actually, I knew that I was fallen into the hallucination.
Of course, I let myself dived into it. Even I know that it's temporary and artificial. But I still love it. Things in my life tend to be "unreal". All of the happiness, gratefulness, success, all of them are just illusions.
Frankly, those illusions made me so happy. Curing me from the inside. A fake warmth is so warm to me. I open my arms and hug it hearty. Never wanted it to slip away.
When truth knocks my door. I opened and let it in. Hoping that it won't hurt me too much this time. The pain thunders down into the core of my chest. There're no blood, just the bad memories split out everywhere. It's like watching yourself get tortured again and again.
Again and again.
I wrote life here.