When I was young and I first found out what suicide was
I was so confused on how could someone just take his own life like that

Now here I am
Sitting in my room all alone at 3 in the morning

Silence is my only friend disturbed by the sobbing sound

You can say I am suicidal
Yes, I think I am

I realised that since the first night I had trouble falling asleep
since the first morning I regretted waking up

I realised how fucked up I was
since promises kept being broken
since the one who said he would never leave … left me

I was surrounded by people
People who never knew what is actually inside my brain
when I was smiling and joking about silly little things

I found myself starring at the wall again
an empty wall
Maybe I am trying to find something that will make me feel less empty

I get lost in my own thought
The trap I created by myself
They said ‘Don’t overthink Minnie, it’s not good for you’
and then I keep thinking how I can not stop thinking
Does that make sense?

It is funny the harder you try to sleep
the harder you will
No matter how hard you try
It seems like you are not enough
you will never be enough

3 A.M.
a friend of mine posted a suicide video
a friend who lives far away
There was nothing I could do except waiting

That was the time I realised how easily someone could become a goner

his post has been refreshing
hoping his brother’s comment will appear
saying they have found him

11 A.M.
still nothing

No matter how bad you want to die
You will never want anyone to go through something that you have been through
No one should be left alone
No one should ever feel the feelings I have had

No one should ever want to die.


5 years ago
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